A New Way Of Thinking

This isn't working.  That is the thought about home schooling that has been running over and over in my mind.  My first inclination was to dream of sending off a couple of the kids to school next year.  A list of reasons/excuses came to mind. Like, I need a break or  the house is falling apart with a to do list I never have time for!  The younger kids are being cheated of my time, and no one seems to be learning anything.  All these reasons swirled through my mind, and for a brief moment I had myself convinced that it could be a good thing.  Then a small still voice came though loud and clear.  God reminded me why He had called Mick and I to home school in the first place.  It is our job to train the kids not the schools.  Okay God, I thought, but what is up?  Why is this SO hard, and why am I failing?  I have cried, I have prayed, and this morning durning my bible time I got some answers.  I have created the perfect storm.  I went into survival mode for way too long, and training has been slack.  I've let good habit training go to the wayside, both in myself and the kids, and now I am reaping the consequences.  So no begins the long journey back to good habits and attitudes.  I wrote out a list of family rules, modified from the Duggar family, and the first step is to work on getting everyone back on the path of politeness and obedience.  "delayed obedience is disobedience!" and J.O.Y. - Put Jesus first, others second, and yourself last.  It takes 6-8 weeks to form a habit, so hopefully in 6 months this will be a much more peaceful and productive house. We shall see how good this mama is at creating a new and good habit in herself by the fruit of the children's attitudes and behaviors!

No Fast Food and De-Cluttering: The First Two Weeks

No fast food is going really well!  I've only been tempted to drive thru once, and boy was it a big one.  I took the younger 6 kids to the zoo, and on the way home we hit traffic, the snacks were gone, it was almost dinner time, and Lia was crying she was hungry, Levi had to go potty for the third time in less than 30 minutes, and Luke was screaming to be out of his chair and fed.  Luckily Kroger was around the corner, so we hit the bathroom and then I picked up some lunchables.  Not the best or healthiest option but way better than fried food.  After that day, everything has been easier :)  Having a set menu for breakfast, lunch, and dinner is so freeing!  It makes my life so much easier.  I have only had to run to the store for milk and bread, since I had a full list of what I needed for all of our meals.  Much better for our budget, which is nice since I am a homebody at heart.  As my bimonthly shopping trip is coming up, I am really happy with my menu options and food choices for breakfasts and lunches overall, so I need only tweak a few of the meals I am rotating.  I am testing out my own granola recipe today, and I am super excited about that.  The kids love granola bars, so I am trying my own version of granola bites as well as bars.  I also decided to put a yogurt maker on my Christmas list.  The kids love it, and with Lia and Levi's food allergies I need to find a way to make yogurt they can eat.  I can not in good conscience buy coconut yogurt for over two dollars for a small container! 

We've amended our no eating out policy to include Subway and Chipotle.  Mick's work schedule and the kids busy soccer season drove this decision.  When we had only PB & J left after we finished the lunch meat, we knew we needed a healthy not fried option, so we chose those two places.  Also, Mick and I have started a breakfast date with one or two of the kids on Wednesday mornings.  It's nice to have some special one on one time, and since we cut out fast food the extra money means we can splurge.  Not to mention, I can make sure that the kids all get restaurant manners. Let's face it, eating out is expensive, especially with a family of ten, but I don't want the kids to be unable to sit nicely and have good manners on those rare occasions when we do have go out to someplace nice.  I love these time eating out with the kids in smaller groups too.  It is so fun to watch them get excited about the special treat of eating out,  and the excited chatter and laughter spending special time with Mick and I.  Precious moments that this mama will treasure as they grow older!  My organizing project is in full swing, and so far I have 3 bags to donate, 2 trash bags, and 2 of my 7 rooms done.  I am saving the basement for last, because it scares me a little bit lol. 

So Far So Good!

I finally got my menus completed for our 30 day challenge of no fast food and making homemade meals.  I want grocery shopping yesterday, and it is amazing how little of my time was spent in the middle isles of the store!  My cart was pretty full, but the Koshi cereal was on clearance!  $2.01 for a box of cereal that I can feel good about the kids eating is a must buy, especially for the days when we have to be out the door early or when someone sleeps past 7:30AM.  The kids know breakfast time ends at 8:00AM sharp, one time of missing breakfast because of sleeping in, and they make sure to be up and ready. 

So, today I started off the day at 5:00AM, fed little man, and came down to make muffins.  I realized had all the ingredients for the perfect muffin, but lacked the recipe to make said muffins.  I searched and found something good, but I had to tweak.  No more refined sugar and cutting the amount in half, adding in whole oat flour, and using butter and coconut oil in place of vegetable oil.  It was close to bakery style, and I can't imagine adding all the sugar plus using a crumb topping!  I did sprinkle raw sugar crystals on the tops and it gave the muffins a pretty shine.  I think next time they'll be even better!  I also plan to try baked oatmeal cups.  Muffin shaped oatmeal will make for tasty snacks and quick breakfast on the go.  I love how my whole way of thinking about food is changing.  I can see the lost art of cooking good wholesome meals being found, and I really love it!  I think Satan has done a serious number on our culture.  The joy of home cooked food brings a warmth to the house, it smells divine in here!  Not to mention the added health benefits.  I was going to wait until tomorrow to start the 30 day challenge, but we are off and running today!  More potato canning, sorting through clothes, and soccer games are on the agenda. It looks to be a beautiful day.

Preperation and Purging

Well, my good intentions of menu planning are going slowly.  Life keeps happening, but I will be ready by Sunday to go "old school" with all the cooking.  Keeping my focus on the health benefits makes planning easier.  Why is that the "simple" in simple meals keeps hanging me up?  We already eat pretty simply, I just need to get some new recipes to spice things up.  I broke the news to the kids this week that all fast food is gone and that we are going to be simplifying our lifestyle.  They took the no fast food much better than the simplifying part.  Honestly, that is the part I have the hardest time with too!

Before Mick got out of the Army, we moved around quite a bit.  We would change bases, living off base until housing opened and then moving on to base as soon as we could, then packing again and moving on to the next place.  All that packing meant purging naturally happened.  When you have to box up all the things you own and then unpack it all, it is amazing what you consider fodder and purge.  I am a pack rat by nature.  I had every paper I ever did or turned in in high school when Mick and I married, and I moved them all to Fort Polk, LA, our first home.  When it came time to move to Fort Carson, CO those pages were pitched.  With two small children, packing was a chore, even though all I had to do was get things organized since the Army had movers come in and pack everything up.  I knew I would be the one unpacking all of this stuff when we hit Colorado, and our 600 sq ft apartment after a luxurious 800 sq ft living space for the last 3 years!  Downsizing became a habit.  It was purge or be overrun! Fast forward to today. 

We have been living in our own home here in Ohio for about 7 1/2 years.  I have kept way too much!  With out the threat of having to box and unbox, I have left the "stuff" pile up.  So, tomorrow after I drop the kids off for their school time, Alyssa, Justin, and I are officially purging.  We have a basement full of stuff, and much of it has been sitting there for the last 7 years.  I am also a frugal person, so getting rid of things when I may need them again is hard.  That I think is from my sin nature, no matter how cute I try to make it sound by calling it practical, economical, or frugal.  Where is my faith that God will provide if I hold tightly on to things that would bless someone right now?  Yes, the 8 tubs of clothes for the kids in the basement are great for hand me downs, but do I trust God to provide clothing for our children in a year or two if I take them all to the Volunteers of America so that they can give them to someone in need right now?  The lines between being wise with what we have been given and becoming self reliant instead of God reliant are blurred in our society.  That fact hit me soundly this week, that I am putting my trust in storing up stuff instead of in God.  Don't get me wrong, things aren't bad, it is the reliance on them in place of faith that God is going to provide that is the sin.  I need to be needy!  I need to be a little less comfortable, and a lot less proud that I will provide for our family all that they need.  Everything is God's and from God.  It's time to give and bless others, knowing and trusting that God will provide for all of our needs.  Come Monday morning, I pray that our basement is mostly empty, and our closets seriously downsized. 

Healthier Eating Heading Into The Holiday Season

There is a really great, albeit intimidating, challenge going on this month called The October Challenge.  The idea is to get back to raw and unprocessed foods, and eating organic when possible.  I love the sound of it, but as I considered it and read the blogs of those who are sponsoring the challenge, I started to waver on whether I could really do it.  Over the last year, we have been making changes to our diet to make it more healthy.  I try to by organic when possible and economical. I've also started buying our meat from local meat markets, and buying only grass fed or organic beef when possible.  With 10 people to feed, and a husband who will not eat most vegetables or bean and legumes it is a serious challenge to our budget and my creativity in the kitchen to come up with nutritious and delicious meals that everyone will eat!  I think we are going to bypass The October Challenge, but I'm making a 30 day challenge for our family, that I hope to stretch out to a 90 day challenge through the holiday season. 

First off, I'm cutting out the fast food.  We don't eat it often, but it is terrible for all of us, and I would rather start planning so that I can have quick meals that travel for the days that I normally would just run through the drive thru.  Giving up the weekly pizza from the local pizza place will hurt, but I can make my own for a lot less and it's better for us. Secondly, I'm going to get rid of most of the boxed cereal, and start making heartier healthier breakfasts.  Overall, I'd say we're going back to homemade, the way food should be and the way it tastes the best.  I plan to blog our progress, including menu ideas.  It should be a fun!  Our start day is in one week.  That gives me plenty of time to plan and get menus ready for all meals and snacks for the next two weeks.  We are having Josh's birthday party next Sunday, so that menu will be my first big hurdle!  I'm off to search out recipes and plan menus.

The Pox!

When I was a kid everyone had chicken pox.  Today, we give vaccines for it, so it seems like very few children have it. If your kids do end up with it, then your house becomes the new play place for those moms looking for a place for their kids to catch it while they are younger and more likely to have a mild case. So far two moms have contacted us about helping infect their kids.  I am rather torn about the idea of intentionally helping to make someones children ill, but I can see their point. I told them Luke will make house calls, but no way are we turning our house into the place to drop by for play dates.  With 8 kids, school, and a sick child my house work is suffering, and I can't face the judgment of other moms right now. 

Did you know catching the chicken pox while under 6 months of age, especially if your child is nursing exclusively, is almost unheard of?  Well, Luke turned 6 months old on Sunday and on Tuesday evening he had what I thought was a new development of craddle cap.  The next day we went to the church for the See You At The Pole home school event, and I noticed a small blister behind his ear.  What is this?!?!  I dismissed it, until we got home and when I changed his diaper I noticed he had more red spots, and blisters on the top of his head.  Oh no!  The dread every mother through all the past generations has when she sees her child coming down with an illness came over me.  My poor 6 month old, 3 months adjusted age, had the chicken pox.  What do I do?  I called my grandmother that's what!  With 3 children she watched them go through it, and then she watched and helped out with her grandchildren when they had it.  This was a place of wisdom from which I could draw reassurance and a plan of action.  Grandma was sympathetic, but she was unsure.  Some spots looked like chicken pox, others just looked like hives.  So, off to the doctor we went, and while worrying over Luke, I remembered we had put off Lia's vaccine because she had been bouncing from ear infection to ear infection from the time she was 12-24 mths.  Then Luke was born and I didn't want to chance her making him sick. Ha!  Life has a way of being mercilessly ironic, doesn't it?  Now here Lia is, at risk of getting it when she is under 3, so most likely wouldn't get life long immunity anyway, after all she has already been through. 

Yes, I do shelter Lia more and have a tendency to coddle her.  After brain damage and a cerebral palsy diagnosis, weekly therapy since 3 months old, worry about hydrocephalus and seizures, multiple ear infections, oral aversion that led to severe anemia that led to 2 days in Columbus at Nationwide Children's with 2 blood transfusions, yes I do hold her a bit closer than the other kids.  So, chicken pox, a disease that can be worse for kids with eczema (which Lia has), not to mention has the possibility of causing swelling of the brain (and let's face it she doesn't need that!), makes me nervous!  Honestly we just don't know what Lia's brain looks like since she had her last u/s at 6 mths.  The channels that move cerebral fluid could be very narrow and any kind of pressure or swelling could cause her to develop serious life threatening problems.  Back to Wed. at the doctor's office, the NP we saw said giving Lia the vaccine now wouldn't help.  I did more research and yes it will.  In fact the wasted 2 days we've lost could have a big impact on how badly Lia will get the chicken pox if she does end up with them.  So, we are off to the ped office again today and we will be leaving with Lia being vaccinated.  I pray she doesn't end up with chicken pox, and if she does it will be a solid week on my knees for no serious complications.

Luke is handling chicken pox like a champ!  He isn't coordinated enough to scratch, and so far by being exclusively nursed it seems to have made his case more mild than a normal case. He is nursing well, smiling and cooing, and over all seems to be doing quite well!  All in all, so far the chicken pox have not been a terrible experience for our family, and I pray it stays that way.

Another Year Older

     Yesterday was my birthday, and so far 35 is not looking too bad.  My wonderful husband look Luke and I out for dinner.  As we sat in eating a wonderful meal, Luke not appreciating nursing under his blanket, I suddenly remembered my birthday dinner last year.  Just Mick and I, starry eyed, planning for the new little life we had just found out about the day before, and who was due to arrive in June on Mick's birthday.  You'd think after having 7 children, that we would not get so excited about adding a new child to our family, but we did!  We were feeling so blessed, and praying for a much smoother pregnancy and delivery than the last time. I had hopes of nursing Lia until closer to 20 weeks pregnant when I heard supply became an issue, we were making plans to move Lia in with the older girls in a few moths so the nursery could be made ready for our new arrival, and then we got to the dreaded question of how to break it to our families that we were going to have another baby.  Telling our families always is a source of serious kill-joy, so I told Mick I didn't want to talk about it on my birthday.  I don't remember much about the rest of dinner last year, but it did make me reflect on the last years events when I was up with Luke at 1:30 this morning.

     I had weaned Lia the second week of October because the nausea of my new pregnancy made letdown so awful I just couldn't do it anymore.  My hats off to those moms who do manage to nurse successfully while expecting!  Looking back, that is one thing I wish I could change.  It would have made keeping a supply for Luke much easier if I had an older nursling.  I struggled a lot with getting my milk to come in, needing many supplements.  Lia did move in with the older girls.  This is one of my favorite things of the last year!  Lia loves her big sisters so much! Addy reads to Lia almost every night after I put them both into bed.  This is a special thing for them, and Addy is the first person Lia calls for in the mornings.  Most days, Addy helps Lia climb out of her crib and come down stairs each morning.  The sweet sister friends they have become is a relationship that I hope they keep for the rest of their lives.  Another change in rooms happened, when Justin moved back in with the 3 younger boys.  Ok, so this was a challenge for them all, but in the long run it will serve them well.  Learning to share your space with others is a life skill!  Many a college dorm dweller will tell of the awful, messy, inconsiderate roommate they had, and I am determined not to produce one of those.  The boys have a strange brotherly relationship which Mick says that as a girl I just can't appreciate.  Boys are not like girls, and the relationship they have can go from loving to fists flying in 0-60 and in the end it's all good.  I don't like it one bit and am trying to break that out of them, but some of it I think God puts into boys as they will need to be the protector and defender of their own family one day. We're working on a balance, and I'm praying for guidance. 

     As for me, I think I've learned a few things over the last year that will make this year better.  I've learned that keeping God first will only make me better and stronger, and if I faithfully give Him my first part of my day the rest of it goes much more smoothly.  I've tried end of the day bible time, but reading puts me to sleep.  In the middle of the day, I have 100 other things I need to get done.  So, I've gone back to setting my alarm for 5:15 each day and getting a cup of coffee and spending time with the Lord.  Also, moving bible time with the kids from bedtime to before we start school has made a huge difference in their attitudes also.  God is blessing our days because we are giving them to Him first, and I think this is a life long habit for me.  Another thing I've had to let go of is my worry about Lia.  This year brought about more changes, a diagnosis of cerebral palsy being the hardest to come to terms with.  Even though Lia is very high functioning, her disability is becoming more evident as she is getting older and I worry about how other kids will treat her as it becomes more apparent.  Learning disabilities are another concern, but I'm giving it to God and I know that he'll give me all I need as I need it, so no borrowing troubles.  School is another area God is growing me.  I used to stress about keeping up with <fill in the blank>.  Public school kids, friends kids, the expectations people had or I perceived they had, and all I did was run in circles of worry and get little accomplished. I reset my goals and they are much more God focused.  I remind myself that as long as I equip the kids with the love of the Lord and teach them how to find information to learn about things, the rest is all for tests.  Alyssa is right, algebra 2 will probably not be something she'll ever need as a missionary, but to graduate from the MCS IS program she needs it.  Just a check list requirement with very little life long value.  I'm trying to keep those things to a minimum and the love of learning and desire and curiosity about life alive.  Sucking the joy of learning out of life is what schools do,  and is one of the reasons we chose to home school.  Math, much to Alyssa and Alex's dismay, is a life skill and must be done every day :)  I sat down at the beginning of the year, and wrote down things I wanted the kids to be equipped with before they left our home. I took those goals and figured out how to mesh them with the state of Ohio's idea of what our kids need to know before they consider them ready to move on to adult living, and I think my list is much more practical.  Either way, I feel like my priorities are much more grounded and my focus is where it needs to be. 

     So, here I am on the first day of a new year of life, fresh with no mistakes in it, yet.  And, like Anne Shirley I hope that the newness of each day is not something I take for granted.  That life's business and to do lists don't suck the love of life out of me. That God's will for me would be carried out, and I could be useful in His plans. Yes, the next year is looking pretty good.

The Battle Over School Time

I remember my visions of home schooling when I was just starting.  The kids gathered around me while we sat reading great literature, them eager to learn and listen to me, peaceful days and precious moments. No fighting, struggles, or complications, just a happy family loving each other and learning together.  Now for the reality of home schooling our brood.  I think I tell Levi to stop running, jumping, or bouncing at least 100 times a day, there is nothing quite so filled with energy like a 4 year old boy! Alex needs to focus because his "something shiney syndrome" has him working on the same math page for the last 3 hours and it still has only 1 problem finished. Josh keeps going off on tangents during his oral reading time. This boy has a stream of conscience way of thinking that can take us from Abraham to Einstein in 10 questions or less. Lia somehow manages to get the crayons that Levi was using to color and starts eating them and coloring on Alex's math page which he left unattended while he had to get his 15th drink of water in the last 30 minutes.  Justin would much rather be kicking his soccer ball than studying Algebra and has a list of 20 reasons why he is not doing said math work.  Addy and Alyssa are my hard workers. They finish their work quickly and move on to fun things much too quickly for the boys liking.  Many a tear has been shed over the girls being done with their work while the boys are still trying to finish their first workbook page!  With all this and feeding Luke every 2 hours it is amazing that the kids and I manage to get through any school work!

Now before all the naysayers of home schooling get that gleam in their eye, I want to go on record saying that rarely do all those things really actually happen in one school day.  I love our kids, and being their teacher is a blessing I thank God for even on the days where I feel like a failure and end up in a puddle of tears.  God has used my home schooling journey to grow me as nothing else in my life has ever done.  His strength keeps me going, given me the determination to persevere through the hard days, and the gentle reminder that as long as these days seem to be they are but a season.  One day in the not so distant future, our children will be grown. These precious days of childhood where I can teach them the things that really matter, and to love the Lord and his ways are so fleeting!

But on days where I struggle to get through even one subject I get discouraged and I wonder if I am really up to this challenge.  I can see where Moses was coming from when he asked God if he was really sure that he was the one for the huge job God had given him! Like Moses I know that God has given me this task, and I know He will equip me to do the job.  Does that always make the hard days easier to endure? No, but I always get through the hard days and God mercifully sends me a moment of clarity of why we are doing this. So, to all my Sisters in Schooling,  remember, all things are possible with the Lord and a friend to help you get through the days you want to pull your hair out :)

Parenting: My Style, Not A Method Just What Works

     Recently I've been hearing a lot of hype about parenting styles.  Everyone has an opinion and thinks their method is the way to go for happy healthy smart kids.  I honestly don't know about many particular styles or methods and quite frankly I don't need to.  After 15+ years of parenting, there are a few things I have learned. The first is I will never have parenting figured out, and I am somewhat skeptical of those who say they do.  Also, just when I think I have a perfect parenting plan, my kids change!  That I think is the biggest stumbling block to the perfect parenting style or method. Toddler parenting is very different than teen parenting, and personalities play a big role in what works.  Just because you may be set for your idea of the perfect type of parenting style, your kids may not have the right personality or disposition for that method.  The saying  'trying to fit a square peg into a round hole' comes to mind. As anyone who has taken a good parenting class will tell you, it is never about changing your kids, it's about changing the way you parent your kids.  The last thing I have learned is that any parent who does not have a strong willed child can not appreciate the unique and seriously challenging parenting issues those parents face, and what works for their little angel will most likely not work for my strong willed wonder.

     I am all for each parenting picking what style works for them and their children.  Personally I am tired of the hype of parenting styles and people pushing their agenda!  I love that others are happy and they have found something that works for them, but please don't try to convert me.  Unless you have 8 children, two of which are very strong willed and one who has special needs, please don't tell me that your way of parenting will solve all my problems.  If you have two mild mannered girls, don't look at me and tell me that if I eliminated sugar and grains from my kids diets my boys would magically sit still.  God has made all of our children with unique personalities.  I love my kids for all their quirkiness, zest for life, love of others, and individualities that make them each a perfect and unique creation!  So much of the advice I got as a new mom was not good advice for my child.  As a seasoned parent, I have learned to nod, smile, commiserate, and if asked give a suggestion, but never do I pass off my experience as the only tried and true way to do things.  What works for me may not work for you.

     All this to say I love my kids, but I know that no one parenting style is the perfect way.  I know that would crush a lot of idealistic first time parents to hear, but it is true.  I say first time parents because anyone who has more than one child already knows how different every child is from another, even those with the same gene pool! Do what works for you, don't listen to those who say they have a better way, and be careful who you get advice from.  Parenting is a seriously hard job! Without God, love, and good friends to listen to my struggles, I would never have made it through the first 15 years of parenting. 

     Don't judge other moms, it is hard enough to parent without feeling like your every move is being analyzed like a play by play film of last weeks football game.  We should be encouraging one another and enjoying our children. That's just this one moms thoughts on the subject, no intense study on the subject has been done, and no professional opinions where given :) 

Off and Running!

     Well, the school year is in full swing.  This year Alyssa is in 10th grade, Justin in 8th, Josh in 4th, Alex and Addy in 2nd, and Levi is doing preschool.  Needless to say, I'm busy!  So busy in fact that I had to revise my more loosely scheduled day into a more structured unforgiving schedule.  First of all, I'm a list person, a check it off and see what I have done person.  I'm that crazy person who does laundry on Mondays and Thursdays, vacuums every morning, and starts lunch at 11:00 because my lists say to do it.  If it isn't on my list or my calendar it does not exists and therefor will not be done.  For me this schedule really works!  I love that the kids and I know what times we change subjects and that I can see that reading out loud is done and science isn't passed over but once a week. 

     But, this schedule does have a down side. I feel rushed sometimes.  There is no time for tangents or further digging into a subject if the kids are really into something.  So, I revised.  I moved science and history to the afternoons, which are more open, and put math, language arts, phonics, spelling, and writing to the mornings.  I don't think I have ever heard the kids beg for extra work in any of these subjects :)  So far, this change seems to have given balance to my schedule.  I have structure and things to check, and yet it allows for the fun of learning to stay alive!  That is one of our education goals for our kids.  We want them to love learning!  We want them to find the joy of discovery and thrill of working out a problem. 

   Okay, time to get to my schedule.  Luke is waking up, and my day is "new without any mistakes in it yet." as Anne Shirley would say.  Good literature is a must also, but that is a blog for another time.  I love watching our kids learn!  Thank you God for allowing me the opportunity to be home with our children and teaching them all that you would have them learn.  Give me the wisdom to do this job, the patience to be understanding and loving even when frustrated, and peace that I am doing what you have willed me to do.