When I was a kid everyone had chicken pox. Today, we give vaccines for it, so it seems like very few children have it. If your kids do end up with it, then your house becomes the new play place for those moms looking for a place for their kids to catch it while they are younger and more likely to have a mild case. So far two moms have contacted us about helping infect their kids. I am rather torn about the idea of intentionally helping to make someones children ill, but I can see their point. I told them Luke will make house calls, but no way are we turning our house into the place to drop by for play dates. With 8 kids, school, and a sick child my house work is suffering, and I can't face the judgment of other moms right now.
Did you know catching the chicken pox while under 6 months of age, especially if your child is nursing exclusively, is almost unheard of? Well, Luke turned 6 months old on Sunday and on Tuesday evening he had what I thought was a new development of craddle cap. The next day we went to the church for the See You At The Pole home school event, and I noticed a small blister behind his ear. What is this?!?! I dismissed it, until we got home and when I changed his diaper I noticed he had more red spots, and blisters on the top of his head. Oh no! The dread every mother through all the past generations has when she sees her child coming down with an illness came over me. My poor 6 month old, 3 months adjusted age, had the chicken pox. What do I do? I called my grandmother that's what! With 3 children she watched them go through it, and then she watched and helped out with her grandchildren when they had it. This was a place of wisdom from which I could draw reassurance and a plan of action. Grandma was sympathetic, but she was unsure. Some spots looked like chicken pox, others just looked like hives. So, off to the doctor we went, and while worrying over Luke, I remembered we had put off Lia's vaccine because she had been bouncing from ear infection to ear infection from the time she was 12-24 mths. Then Luke was born and I didn't want to chance her making him sick. Ha! Life has a way of being mercilessly ironic, doesn't it? Now here Lia is, at risk of getting it when she is under 3, so most likely wouldn't get life long immunity anyway, after all she has already been through.
Yes, I do shelter Lia more and have a tendency to coddle her. After brain damage and a cerebral palsy diagnosis, weekly therapy since 3 months old, worry about hydrocephalus and seizures, multiple ear infections, oral aversion that led to severe anemia that led to 2 days in Columbus at Nationwide Children's with 2 blood transfusions, yes I do hold her a bit closer than the other kids. So, chicken pox, a disease that can be worse for kids with eczema (which Lia has), not to mention has the possibility of causing swelling of the brain (and let's face it she doesn't need that!), makes me nervous! Honestly we just don't know what Lia's brain looks like since she had her last u/s at 6 mths. The channels that move cerebral fluid could be very narrow and any kind of pressure or swelling could cause her to develop serious life threatening problems. Back to Wed. at the doctor's office, the NP we saw said giving Lia the vaccine now wouldn't help. I did more research and yes it will. In fact the wasted 2 days we've lost could have a big impact on how badly Lia will get the chicken pox if she does end up with them. So, we are off to the ped office again today and we will be leaving with Lia being vaccinated. I pray she doesn't end up with chicken pox, and if she does it will be a solid week on my knees for no serious complications.
Luke is handling chicken pox like a champ! He isn't coordinated enough to scratch, and so far by being exclusively nursed it seems to have made his case more mild than a normal case. He is nursing well, smiling and cooing, and over all seems to be doing quite well! All in all, so far the chicken pox have not been a terrible experience for our family, and I pray it stays that way.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Another Year Older
Yesterday was my birthday, and so far 35 is not looking too bad. My wonderful husband look Luke and I out for dinner. As we sat in eating a wonderful meal, Luke not appreciating nursing under his blanket, I suddenly remembered my birthday dinner last year. Just Mick and I, starry eyed, planning for the new little life we had just found out about the day before, and who was due to arrive in June on Mick's birthday. You'd think after having 7 children, that we would not get so excited about adding a new child to our family, but we did! We were feeling so blessed, and praying for a much smoother pregnancy and delivery than the last time. I had hopes of nursing Lia until closer to 20 weeks pregnant when I heard supply became an issue, we were making plans to move Lia in with the older girls in a few moths so the nursery could be made ready for our new arrival, and then we got to the dreaded question of how to break it to our families that we were going to have another baby. Telling our families always is a source of serious kill-joy, so I told Mick I didn't want to talk about it on my birthday. I don't remember much about the rest of dinner last year, but it did make me reflect on the last years events when I was up with Luke at 1:30 this morning.
I had weaned Lia the second week of October because the nausea of my new pregnancy made letdown so awful I just couldn't do it anymore. My hats off to those moms who do manage to nurse successfully while expecting! Looking back, that is one thing I wish I could change. It would have made keeping a supply for Luke much easier if I had an older nursling. I struggled a lot with getting my milk to come in, needing many supplements. Lia did move in with the older girls. This is one of my favorite things of the last year! Lia loves her big sisters so much! Addy reads to Lia almost every night after I put them both into bed. This is a special thing for them, and Addy is the first person Lia calls for in the mornings. Most days, Addy helps Lia climb out of her crib and come down stairs each morning. The sweet sister friends they have become is a relationship that I hope they keep for the rest of their lives. Another change in rooms happened, when Justin moved back in with the 3 younger boys. Ok, so this was a challenge for them all, but in the long run it will serve them well. Learning to share your space with others is a life skill! Many a college dorm dweller will tell of the awful, messy, inconsiderate roommate they had, and I am determined not to produce one of those. The boys have a strange brotherly relationship which Mick says that as a girl I just can't appreciate. Boys are not like girls, and the relationship they have can go from loving to fists flying in 0-60 and in the end it's all good. I don't like it one bit and am trying to break that out of them, but some of it I think God puts into boys as they will need to be the protector and defender of their own family one day. We're working on a balance, and I'm praying for guidance.
As for me, I think I've learned a few things over the last year that will make this year better. I've learned that keeping God first will only make me better and stronger, and if I faithfully give Him my first part of my day the rest of it goes much more smoothly. I've tried end of the day bible time, but reading puts me to sleep. In the middle of the day, I have 100 other things I need to get done. So, I've gone back to setting my alarm for 5:15 each day and getting a cup of coffee and spending time with the Lord. Also, moving bible time with the kids from bedtime to before we start school has made a huge difference in their attitudes also. God is blessing our days because we are giving them to Him first, and I think this is a life long habit for me. Another thing I've had to let go of is my worry about Lia. This year brought about more changes, a diagnosis of cerebral palsy being the hardest to come to terms with. Even though Lia is very high functioning, her disability is becoming more evident as she is getting older and I worry about how other kids will treat her as it becomes more apparent. Learning disabilities are another concern, but I'm giving it to God and I know that he'll give me all I need as I need it, so no borrowing troubles. School is another area God is growing me. I used to stress about keeping up with <fill in the blank>. Public school kids, friends kids, the expectations people had or I perceived they had, and all I did was run in circles of worry and get little accomplished. I reset my goals and they are much more God focused. I remind myself that as long as I equip the kids with the love of the Lord and teach them how to find information to learn about things, the rest is all for tests. Alyssa is right, algebra 2 will probably not be something she'll ever need as a missionary, but to graduate from the MCS IS program she needs it. Just a check list requirement with very little life long value. I'm trying to keep those things to a minimum and the love of learning and desire and curiosity about life alive. Sucking the joy of learning out of life is what schools do, and is one of the reasons we chose to home school. Math, much to Alyssa and Alex's dismay, is a life skill and must be done every day :) I sat down at the beginning of the year, and wrote down things I wanted the kids to be equipped with before they left our home. I took those goals and figured out how to mesh them with the state of Ohio's idea of what our kids need to know before they consider them ready to move on to adult living, and I think my list is much more practical. Either way, I feel like my priorities are much more grounded and my focus is where it needs to be.
So, here I am on the first day of a new year of life, fresh with no mistakes in it, yet. And, like Anne Shirley I hope that the newness of each day is not something I take for granted. That life's business and to do lists don't suck the love of life out of me. That God's will for me would be carried out, and I could be useful in His plans. Yes, the next year is looking pretty good.
I had weaned Lia the second week of October because the nausea of my new pregnancy made letdown so awful I just couldn't do it anymore. My hats off to those moms who do manage to nurse successfully while expecting! Looking back, that is one thing I wish I could change. It would have made keeping a supply for Luke much easier if I had an older nursling. I struggled a lot with getting my milk to come in, needing many supplements. Lia did move in with the older girls. This is one of my favorite things of the last year! Lia loves her big sisters so much! Addy reads to Lia almost every night after I put them both into bed. This is a special thing for them, and Addy is the first person Lia calls for in the mornings. Most days, Addy helps Lia climb out of her crib and come down stairs each morning. The sweet sister friends they have become is a relationship that I hope they keep for the rest of their lives. Another change in rooms happened, when Justin moved back in with the 3 younger boys. Ok, so this was a challenge for them all, but in the long run it will serve them well. Learning to share your space with others is a life skill! Many a college dorm dweller will tell of the awful, messy, inconsiderate roommate they had, and I am determined not to produce one of those. The boys have a strange brotherly relationship which Mick says that as a girl I just can't appreciate. Boys are not like girls, and the relationship they have can go from loving to fists flying in 0-60 and in the end it's all good. I don't like it one bit and am trying to break that out of them, but some of it I think God puts into boys as they will need to be the protector and defender of their own family one day. We're working on a balance, and I'm praying for guidance.
As for me, I think I've learned a few things over the last year that will make this year better. I've learned that keeping God first will only make me better and stronger, and if I faithfully give Him my first part of my day the rest of it goes much more smoothly. I've tried end of the day bible time, but reading puts me to sleep. In the middle of the day, I have 100 other things I need to get done. So, I've gone back to setting my alarm for 5:15 each day and getting a cup of coffee and spending time with the Lord. Also, moving bible time with the kids from bedtime to before we start school has made a huge difference in their attitudes also. God is blessing our days because we are giving them to Him first, and I think this is a life long habit for me. Another thing I've had to let go of is my worry about Lia. This year brought about more changes, a diagnosis of cerebral palsy being the hardest to come to terms with. Even though Lia is very high functioning, her disability is becoming more evident as she is getting older and I worry about how other kids will treat her as it becomes more apparent. Learning disabilities are another concern, but I'm giving it to God and I know that he'll give me all I need as I need it, so no borrowing troubles. School is another area God is growing me. I used to stress about keeping up with <fill in the blank>. Public school kids, friends kids, the expectations people had or I perceived they had, and all I did was run in circles of worry and get little accomplished. I reset my goals and they are much more God focused. I remind myself that as long as I equip the kids with the love of the Lord and teach them how to find information to learn about things, the rest is all for tests. Alyssa is right, algebra 2 will probably not be something she'll ever need as a missionary, but to graduate from the MCS IS program she needs it. Just a check list requirement with very little life long value. I'm trying to keep those things to a minimum and the love of learning and desire and curiosity about life alive. Sucking the joy of learning out of life is what schools do, and is one of the reasons we chose to home school. Math, much to Alyssa and Alex's dismay, is a life skill and must be done every day :) I sat down at the beginning of the year, and wrote down things I wanted the kids to be equipped with before they left our home. I took those goals and figured out how to mesh them with the state of Ohio's idea of what our kids need to know before they consider them ready to move on to adult living, and I think my list is much more practical. Either way, I feel like my priorities are much more grounded and my focus is where it needs to be.
So, here I am on the first day of a new year of life, fresh with no mistakes in it, yet. And, like Anne Shirley I hope that the newness of each day is not something I take for granted. That life's business and to do lists don't suck the love of life out of me. That God's will for me would be carried out, and I could be useful in His plans. Yes, the next year is looking pretty good.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The Battle Over School Time
I remember my visions of home schooling when I was just starting. The kids gathered around me while we sat reading great literature, them eager to learn and listen to me, peaceful days and precious moments. No fighting, struggles, or complications, just a happy family loving each other and learning together. Now for the reality of home schooling our brood. I think I tell Levi to stop running, jumping, or bouncing at least 100 times a day, there is nothing quite so filled with energy like a 4 year old boy! Alex needs to focus because his "something shiney syndrome" has him working on the same math page for the last 3 hours and it still has only 1 problem finished. Josh keeps going off on tangents during his oral reading time. This boy has a stream of conscience way of thinking that can take us from Abraham to Einstein in 10 questions or less. Lia somehow manages to get the crayons that Levi was using to color and starts eating them and coloring on Alex's math page which he left unattended while he had to get his 15th drink of water in the last 30 minutes. Justin would much rather be kicking his soccer ball than studying Algebra and has a list of 20 reasons why he is not doing said math work. Addy and Alyssa are my hard workers. They finish their work quickly and move on to fun things much too quickly for the boys liking. Many a tear has been shed over the girls being done with their work while the boys are still trying to finish their first workbook page! With all this and feeding Luke every 2 hours it is amazing that the kids and I manage to get through any school work!
Now before all the naysayers of home schooling get that gleam in their eye, I want to go on record saying that rarely do all those things really actually happen in one school day. I love our kids, and being their teacher is a blessing I thank God for even on the days where I feel like a failure and end up in a puddle of tears. God has used my home schooling journey to grow me as nothing else in my life has ever done. His strength keeps me going, given me the determination to persevere through the hard days, and the gentle reminder that as long as these days seem to be they are but a season. One day in the not so distant future, our children will be grown. These precious days of childhood where I can teach them the things that really matter, and to love the Lord and his ways are so fleeting!
But on days where I struggle to get through even one subject I get discouraged and I wonder if I am really up to this challenge. I can see where Moses was coming from when he asked God if he was really sure that he was the one for the huge job God had given him! Like Moses I know that God has given me this task, and I know He will equip me to do the job. Does that always make the hard days easier to endure? No, but I always get through the hard days and God mercifully sends me a moment of clarity of why we are doing this. So, to all my Sisters in Schooling, remember, all things are possible with the Lord and a friend to help you get through the days you want to pull your hair out :)
Now before all the naysayers of home schooling get that gleam in their eye, I want to go on record saying that rarely do all those things really actually happen in one school day. I love our kids, and being their teacher is a blessing I thank God for even on the days where I feel like a failure and end up in a puddle of tears. God has used my home schooling journey to grow me as nothing else in my life has ever done. His strength keeps me going, given me the determination to persevere through the hard days, and the gentle reminder that as long as these days seem to be they are but a season. One day in the not so distant future, our children will be grown. These precious days of childhood where I can teach them the things that really matter, and to love the Lord and his ways are so fleeting!
But on days where I struggle to get through even one subject I get discouraged and I wonder if I am really up to this challenge. I can see where Moses was coming from when he asked God if he was really sure that he was the one for the huge job God had given him! Like Moses I know that God has given me this task, and I know He will equip me to do the job. Does that always make the hard days easier to endure? No, but I always get through the hard days and God mercifully sends me a moment of clarity of why we are doing this. So, to all my Sisters in Schooling, remember, all things are possible with the Lord and a friend to help you get through the days you want to pull your hair out :)
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Parenting: My Style, Not A Method Just What Works
Recently I've been hearing a lot of hype about parenting styles. Everyone has an opinion and thinks their method is the way to go for happy healthy smart kids. I honestly don't know about many particular styles or methods and quite frankly I don't need to. After 15+ years of parenting, there are a few things I have learned. The first is I will never have parenting figured out, and I am somewhat skeptical of those who say they do. Also, just when I think I have a perfect parenting plan, my kids change! That I think is the biggest stumbling block to the perfect parenting style or method. Toddler parenting is very different than teen parenting, and personalities play a big role in what works. Just because you may be set for your idea of the perfect type of parenting style, your kids may not have the right personality or disposition for that method. The saying 'trying to fit a square peg into a round hole' comes to mind. As anyone who has taken a good parenting class will tell you, it is never about changing your kids, it's about changing the way you parent your kids. The last thing I have learned is that any parent who does not have a strong willed child can not appreciate the unique and seriously challenging parenting issues those parents face, and what works for their little angel will most likely not work for my strong willed wonder.
I am all for each parenting picking what style works for them and their children. Personally I am tired of the hype of parenting styles and people pushing their agenda! I love that others are happy and they have found something that works for them, but please don't try to convert me. Unless you have 8 children, two of which are very strong willed and one who has special needs, please don't tell me that your way of parenting will solve all my problems. If you have two mild mannered girls, don't look at me and tell me that if I eliminated sugar and grains from my kids diets my boys would magically sit still. God has made all of our children with unique personalities. I love my kids for all their quirkiness, zest for life, love of others, and individualities that make them each a perfect and unique creation! So much of the advice I got as a new mom was not good advice for my child. As a seasoned parent, I have learned to nod, smile, commiserate, and if asked give a suggestion, but never do I pass off my experience as the only tried and true way to do things. What works for me may not work for you.
All this to say I love my kids, but I know that no one parenting style is the perfect way. I know that would crush a lot of idealistic first time parents to hear, but it is true. I say first time parents because anyone who has more than one child already knows how different every child is from another, even those with the same gene pool! Do what works for you, don't listen to those who say they have a better way, and be careful who you get advice from. Parenting is a seriously hard job! Without God, love, and good friends to listen to my struggles, I would never have made it through the first 15 years of parenting.
Don't judge other moms, it is hard enough to parent without feeling like your every move is being analyzed like a play by play film of last weeks football game. We should be encouraging one another and enjoying our children. That's just this one moms thoughts on the subject, no intense study on the subject has been done, and no professional opinions where given :)
I am all for each parenting picking what style works for them and their children. Personally I am tired of the hype of parenting styles and people pushing their agenda! I love that others are happy and they have found something that works for them, but please don't try to convert me. Unless you have 8 children, two of which are very strong willed and one who has special needs, please don't tell me that your way of parenting will solve all my problems. If you have two mild mannered girls, don't look at me and tell me that if I eliminated sugar and grains from my kids diets my boys would magically sit still. God has made all of our children with unique personalities. I love my kids for all their quirkiness, zest for life, love of others, and individualities that make them each a perfect and unique creation! So much of the advice I got as a new mom was not good advice for my child. As a seasoned parent, I have learned to nod, smile, commiserate, and if asked give a suggestion, but never do I pass off my experience as the only tried and true way to do things. What works for me may not work for you.
All this to say I love my kids, but I know that no one parenting style is the perfect way. I know that would crush a lot of idealistic first time parents to hear, but it is true. I say first time parents because anyone who has more than one child already knows how different every child is from another, even those with the same gene pool! Do what works for you, don't listen to those who say they have a better way, and be careful who you get advice from. Parenting is a seriously hard job! Without God, love, and good friends to listen to my struggles, I would never have made it through the first 15 years of parenting.
Don't judge other moms, it is hard enough to parent without feeling like your every move is being analyzed like a play by play film of last weeks football game. We should be encouraging one another and enjoying our children. That's just this one moms thoughts on the subject, no intense study on the subject has been done, and no professional opinions where given :)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Off and Running!
Well, the school year is in full swing. This year Alyssa is in 10th grade, Justin in 8th, Josh in 4th, Alex and Addy in 2nd, and Levi is doing preschool. Needless to say, I'm busy! So busy in fact that I had to revise my more loosely scheduled day into a more structured unforgiving schedule. First of all, I'm a list person, a check it off and see what I have done person. I'm that crazy person who does laundry on Mondays and Thursdays, vacuums every morning, and starts lunch at 11:00 because my lists say to do it. If it isn't on my list or my calendar it does not exists and therefor will not be done. For me this schedule really works! I love that the kids and I know what times we change subjects and that I can see that reading out loud is done and science isn't passed over but once a week.
But, this schedule does have a down side. I feel rushed sometimes. There is no time for tangents or further digging into a subject if the kids are really into something. So, I revised. I moved science and history to the afternoons, which are more open, and put math, language arts, phonics, spelling, and writing to the mornings. I don't think I have ever heard the kids beg for extra work in any of these subjects :) So far, this change seems to have given balance to my schedule. I have structure and things to check, and yet it allows for the fun of learning to stay alive! That is one of our education goals for our kids. We want them to love learning! We want them to find the joy of discovery and thrill of working out a problem.
Okay, time to get to my schedule. Luke is waking up, and my day is "new without any mistakes in it yet." as Anne Shirley would say. Good literature is a must also, but that is a blog for another time. I love watching our kids learn! Thank you God for allowing me the opportunity to be home with our children and teaching them all that you would have them learn. Give me the wisdom to do this job, the patience to be understanding and loving even when frustrated, and peace that I am doing what you have willed me to do.
But, this schedule does have a down side. I feel rushed sometimes. There is no time for tangents or further digging into a subject if the kids are really into something. So, I revised. I moved science and history to the afternoons, which are more open, and put math, language arts, phonics, spelling, and writing to the mornings. I don't think I have ever heard the kids beg for extra work in any of these subjects :) So far, this change seems to have given balance to my schedule. I have structure and things to check, and yet it allows for the fun of learning to stay alive! That is one of our education goals for our kids. We want them to love learning! We want them to find the joy of discovery and thrill of working out a problem.
Okay, time to get to my schedule. Luke is waking up, and my day is "new without any mistakes in it yet." as Anne Shirley would say. Good literature is a must also, but that is a blog for another time. I love watching our kids learn! Thank you God for allowing me the opportunity to be home with our children and teaching them all that you would have them learn. Give me the wisdom to do this job, the patience to be understanding and loving even when frustrated, and peace that I am doing what you have willed me to do.
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