Parenting: My Style, Not A Method Just What Works

     Recently I've been hearing a lot of hype about parenting styles.  Everyone has an opinion and thinks their method is the way to go for happy healthy smart kids.  I honestly don't know about many particular styles or methods and quite frankly I don't need to.  After 15+ years of parenting, there are a few things I have learned. The first is I will never have parenting figured out, and I am somewhat skeptical of those who say they do.  Also, just when I think I have a perfect parenting plan, my kids change!  That I think is the biggest stumbling block to the perfect parenting style or method. Toddler parenting is very different than teen parenting, and personalities play a big role in what works.  Just because you may be set for your idea of the perfect type of parenting style, your kids may not have the right personality or disposition for that method.  The saying  'trying to fit a square peg into a round hole' comes to mind. As anyone who has taken a good parenting class will tell you, it is never about changing your kids, it's about changing the way you parent your kids.  The last thing I have learned is that any parent who does not have a strong willed child can not appreciate the unique and seriously challenging parenting issues those parents face, and what works for their little angel will most likely not work for my strong willed wonder.

     I am all for each parenting picking what style works for them and their children.  Personally I am tired of the hype of parenting styles and people pushing their agenda!  I love that others are happy and they have found something that works for them, but please don't try to convert me.  Unless you have 8 children, two of which are very strong willed and one who has special needs, please don't tell me that your way of parenting will solve all my problems.  If you have two mild mannered girls, don't look at me and tell me that if I eliminated sugar and grains from my kids diets my boys would magically sit still.  God has made all of our children with unique personalities.  I love my kids for all their quirkiness, zest for life, love of others, and individualities that make them each a perfect and unique creation!  So much of the advice I got as a new mom was not good advice for my child.  As a seasoned parent, I have learned to nod, smile, commiserate, and if asked give a suggestion, but never do I pass off my experience as the only tried and true way to do things.  What works for me may not work for you.

     All this to say I love my kids, but I know that no one parenting style is the perfect way.  I know that would crush a lot of idealistic first time parents to hear, but it is true.  I say first time parents because anyone who has more than one child already knows how different every child is from another, even those with the same gene pool! Do what works for you, don't listen to those who say they have a better way, and be careful who you get advice from.  Parenting is a seriously hard job! Without God, love, and good friends to listen to my struggles, I would never have made it through the first 15 years of parenting. 

     Don't judge other moms, it is hard enough to parent without feeling like your every move is being analyzed like a play by play film of last weeks football game.  We should be encouraging one another and enjoying our children. That's just this one moms thoughts on the subject, no intense study on the subject has been done, and no professional opinions where given :)